A few more dating tips

When it comes down to it, your ventures in dating should be fairly similar to your ventures in work. Basically you should find yourself in situations where you think you deserve better but where you're probably getting more than you deserve. And five years later (just kidding, it'll probably be more like five weeks or days later), you should step back from your vague dating-like situation and say to yourself, "Wow, I didn't see this coming." At that point, you should break up victoriously, and then, a few months later, you should begin dating someone slightly worse than the person before.

During that period, however long, of continuous dating (it really can't ever be called a "relationship" - you're not sure exactly why, even though there's no one else involved and the other person seems to consider you their significant other, but somehow you just know, the way you know that the priest across the street is a child molester), you should feel fairly ambivalent about the other person. Sometimes you might think it's possible you like them because both of you enjoy eating and watching movies. Sometimes you're pretty sure you hate them because they only claim to like sushi, and they're obviously a poseur. You should always be too embarrassed to introduce them to your friends, and you will generally prefer death to hanging out with their friends. Every once in awhile, you should tell them it's over, then continue to agree to go out with them because you can't stand to have anyone who likes you not like you anymore.

In any case, anyone who chooses to date you is obviously the wrong person for you. This is true because the fact that they find you datable shows you immediately that they're inferior.