Responsibility (or, blaming yourself for everything)

Feeling responsible should be important to you. What's even more important is feeling responsible for things that have very little consequence or things for which other people are clearly responsible. For instance, if you're at, say, McDonald's, and you order a quarter pounder without mustard or cheese, and then you go home and find that you've gotten a quarter pounder with ONLY mustard and cheese, you should first blame yourself because you must have ordered wrong. If you decide to go back to the store to exchange it, you should always start your conversation with, "I'm sorry. It's totally my fault, but..." Then, when you look at the original receipt and see that it clearly reads "quarter pounder w/o cheese or mustard," you should say, "Oh, of course, you thought that 'w/o' meant 'with only.' I'm sorry." Then, when they give you a new quarter pounder, and it still has cheese on it, you should take it with an overly gracious "Thank you so much!" like you've really put them out and they've done you a huge favor and then rip off the cheese yourself outside of the store, blaming yourself for somehow confusing everyone by having made an unthinkable request. Then, later, you should realize you're to blame anyway, because you're the one who chose to go to McDonald's in the first place. Then you should sit around feeling ashamed.

Note: Hopefully it's clear that you're only to take responsibility when things go wrong. The above especially applies in relationships. For instance, if your partner cheats on you and then feels the need to discuss it at length, you should always work the phrase "It's my fault" into the conversation as many times as possible. When they finally ask, "How is it your fault?" you should respond with something along the lines of, "It's my fault for liking you in the first place" or "It's my fault for having found out about it." Then, after you've broken up and it's too late to say anything without being completely out of context, you should realize, "Oh, right, it was actually their fault for being an ass pole who cheated on me." Then you should sit around feeling ashamed.