Hypochondria and OCD

Now, hypochondria is not only a great tool for fraudulent living in itself, it also mixes really well with other disorders, such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. The two of them are a devastating combination, like Jack and Coke, and should leave you reeling and in a half-comatose state most of the time. It should also be noted here that obsessive-compulsive disorder is a must-have tool if you want to achieve fraudulence. You must have it. If you don't, you must acquire it immediately. You must acquire it immediately. You must acquire it immediately. You must acquire it immediately.

These two disorders have a brilliant symbiosis, and it's really better to experience it for yourself, but in essence, what happens is this: You convince yourself that you have a horrible disease or condition, like, say, a brain tumor. After convincing yourself of this, the OCD will kick in, and you will begin to, for example, repeat a certain phrase to yourself over and over again and convince yourself that if you say it, the tumor will go away. Or you'll breathe in a certain way. Or blink a certain number of times. And then you will convince yourself that you're doing this because you have a brain tumor. So you'll stop, because you think if you stop, it will mean you don't have a brain tumor. And then the OCD will create a tension in you that makes your head want to explode until you do all these things again. And then the funny breathing and the blinking will make you lightheaded or at least give you a headache, once again convincing you that you have all the symptoms of a brain tumor.

And then, in the midst of this, if there is a god, you will be smote by lightning, because He will want to put you out of your misery. If not, then you finally have proof that god doesn't exist, because why would He let this happen? (P.S. God is a separate blog post. God probably deserves at least one Post all to Himself.)